What's Going On In That Head Of Yours?

I haven't been posting much lately because I've been trying to deal with a few things mentally. I know I have food issues. I did my first two shows close together, and after the second one I put on about 10kg. It took a lot of work to get the weight off again for my third show, and I was determined not to have to go through that again. Plus I prefer how I look when I'm lean. But I'm a control freak and it can mean that it takes over my life. I'm in my off season and I'm trying to put on muscle, but I still tend to weigh, measure and calculate (think about) things too much - because I also want to stay lean. When my food scales broke recently I didn't get round to replacing them, and it's actually been really good to help me relax a bit. I have just been eyeballing portion sizes instead of weighing things out to the last gram. It's nice to be able to cook a meal and dish it up without it getting cold while I'm weighing/measuring how much to have. I've been eating until I start to get full, then stop. I've gotten quite good at judging how much I need without weighing it out. I'm learning to listen to myself more and that can only be a good thing.